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    Out Of The Cardboard Box -CRAYFISH (my uhhh... "silly" cry ae)

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    Amphibian

    Posts : 73
    Location : Bayport

    MAG1 Out Of The Cardboard Box -CRAYFISH (my uhhh... "silly" cry ae)

    Post  Amphibian on Tue Dec 07, 2010 2:27 am

    So this was originally for Kate because, well... we like to make each other laugh. xD
    It is really odd...
    Side affects may include: Long, uncontrollable outbursts of laughter, or just feeling awkward and thinking: "Wow. Mel is a weirdo."


    Out of the cardboard box - Cry

    CHAPTER ONE:

    []Summer[]

    It was gloomy! What can I say? I am an unligitimate character. My name is Summer.
    I like to annoy my boyfriend, Henry, and ask for tons of stuff that I don't need.
    It works so well! how can I resist? I Rip out my cell phone and dial Henry.He doesn't pick up. Jerk. I call him again.
    This time, he answers on the second ring.
    "HEN-RYYYYYYY!?" I yell into the speaker. Henhen says:
    "Yes, Summer?" I smile deviously and say:
    "I want a moter home."


    []Henry[]

    "Yes, Summer?" I say, hoping it's not too expensive, whatever it is.
    "I want a moter home." Comes her reply. I fall out of my chair.
    "SAY WHAT!?!" I screech, getting back up, and fixing the phone. Nancy stares at me. I glare at the snoopy little detective.
    "Snoopy, snoopy, snoopy!" I exclaim, pulling out my wallet and showing her a picture of my favorite cartoon dog from
    'The Peanuts'. She stares at it blankly, and fixes her glasses. It reminds me of Summer's favorite movie; Mansfeild Park.
    She forced me to watch it with her once. PREACHER: "This. Is trash." TOM: "so serious." **Sigh** My eyebrows narrow as
    I recall her yellow cat, scratshing my face. I gasp, realizing that the scar probably still remains. I grope for a mirror,
    and when I find one, look inside it.
    "Phew. It's gone. EVIL CAT!" I shove my fist into the air. Nancy looks at me blankly.
    I cough randomly, and pick up the phone.
    "I'LL GET YOU THAT MOTER HOME SUMMER, IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!" I scream dramaticly into the phone, silently inviting
    crocidile tears to come. I throw the phone back onto the receiver, and whistle.
    "GROOVY!" I shout. Nancy falls onto the floor like an unstable stick.
    "Oh, no!" I shout, rushing to her aid. "Are you OK?!"
    A hand whacks me in the face. "You can't get her that moter home!" Nancy shouts. "You don't have enough money to!
    AND you told me you'd be nice!" I glare at her.
    "Fine! Last time I try to help you!" I scream, quoting 'Tinkerbell'. I run out the door, and into the pouring rain.
    "Henry, dollin'!" Renee' calls in her annoying southern voice. "What?!" I snarl, baring my teeth at the gardener.
    "Sheeeesh." She whispers. "Give these marshmella's tah Bernie, wontcha?"
    She tosses me a plastic bag that reads in colorful words on the front:
    "SUPER JUMBO MARSHMELOWS!" I clear my throat, and my eyes bug out at the mistake.
    "Hey, look Renee'- Marshmellows is only spelt with one l!" I exclaim like an excited pre-schooler.
    A handful of dirt is thrown in my face.
    "Just do as I said!!!" The old woman snaps. I roll my eyes.
    "Whatever!" I run down the wet stairs, through the garden, through the gate, down a road, down a road, down a road, and
    into "the boggie part of the cemetery!"- As Renee' would say.
    I enter the bog, and gasp to see 20 men dressed up like skeletons in a boat, staring right at me. ...Creepy.
    One climbs onto shore, and yodels. My eyebrows shoot up into the sky.
    The skeleton takes a bag out of it's pocket, and shakes a powder-y substance into it's hand. It looks from me, to the bog,
    then throws the powder at the remaining humans in the boat. The boat and all it's contents levitates out of the lake, and
    shoots into the sky.
    I pass out.


    []Nancy[]

    I cannot believe Henry would actually cave into Summer like that!
    I put on my big, yellow rain poncho, and leap out the door like an over-caffinated frog.
    "Renee'!" I shout in a raspy voice.
    "Care for a strawberry, dollin'!?" She screams, stuffing a bucket of the red berries in my face.
    I grin, and take one.
    "Renee'," I begin. "I am so tired." The old woman looks horrified.
    "Nancy." She says grimly. "Did you evah wondah what is in this little fridgie behind meh?"
    I swallow. "The secrets of the universe?" I ask in a timid voice.
    "No, not that, dollin'." The gray-haired woman shakes her head. "Wanna take a peek?"
    I nod vigorously, and boud into the dark, damp, corner of the 'candle lit world'.
    Renee' opens the fride, and I stare in horror at the bottles of pepsi. My mouth hangs open.
    "It's muh secret stash!" Renee' giggles, and rubbs her hands together.
    "OH, NO!!" I shout. "OH NO, OH NO, OH NO, OH NO!"
    "What's the mattah? Are ya ill?" Renee' asks me. I shake my head, and slam the door to the fridge shut.
    "You can't drink that." I gasp for air. Renee' glares at me through her gray eyes.
    "Why should I not drink it, dollin'? Hmm??"
    "I'll show you!" I spit in her face, and drag her to the front door of the mansion.
    I stick out my tongue at The old lady as I steal Henry's empty seat, before she can sit down herself. I raid his
    laptop, puling up any info about how horrible soda is for you that I can find.
    "SEE!?" I point at the screen. I marvel at the pretty rainbow swirls dancing around my finger on the screen.
    I press on it harder.
    "Look at this, Renee'!" I exclaim, grinning from ear to ear.
    Renee' scowls. All of a sudden, a commercial for
    Giego car insurance pops up on the screen.
    "Oooh, kimmie!" I shout, making a HUGE teeth smile. "I love these ads." I hug Renee'. I fix my glasses.
    "Could switching to Giego really save you 15% or more on Car Insurance?" The man on the screen asks.
    I nod wildly.
    Then?
    The computer shuts off.
    "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I scream in horror, as the screen fades to black. I punch the computer. I bang on it.
    Renee' joins in on the fun.
    I open a scissors, and slice across the moniter.
    "Wait!" I yell, pulling the large ax out of the old woman's tight grasp. "Why are we doing this?" I wonder, a mischevious
    frown appearing on my face. Renee' gurgles and laughs.
    "I DON'T KNOW!" She sputters loudly.
    I smile wide, and start destroying Henry's computer, again. The decrepid gardener swings the ax at the keyboard,
    and the small black pieces go flying all over! Rover! I dance in them, and laugh retardedly. Just then, someone walks
    through the door. A soaking wet Henry, to be exact. -?-
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    Beanbag
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    MAG1 Re: Out Of The Cardboard Box -CRAYFISH (my uhhh... "silly" cry ae)

    Post  Beanbag on Wed Dec 08, 2010 4:15 am

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    OH MEL, I was cracking up through like the whole thing!!
    I HOPE YOU'RE GOING TO CONTINUE THIS! SOON! Very Happy

    The boat and all it's contents levitates out of the lake, and
    shoots into the sky.
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    DolphinSinger

    Posts : 139
    Location : Bayport :D

    MAG1 Re: Out Of The Cardboard Box -CRAYFISH (my uhhh... "silly" cry ae)

    Post  DolphinSinger on Fri Dec 10, 2010 6:07 am

    BAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAHHHAHAHHAHAHAHA
    MEL.
    THIS.
    IS.
    AWESOME!!!!!!!!!

    "Nancy." She says grimly. "Did you evah wondah what is in this little fridgie behind meh?"
    I swallow. "The secrets of the universe?" I ask in a timid voice.

    BAHAHAHAHAHAHHA! LOOOOVE!
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    Amphibian

    Posts : 73
    Location : Bayport

    MAG1 YAY FOR NEW CHAPTERS!!

    Post  Amphibian on Thu Jan 13, 2011 3:52 am

    So this one is a little short, and if you want to read more, I will post more, so... YAH. ENJOY!!


    CHAPTER TWO:

    []Henry[]

    "What the heck are you doing to my COMPUTERRRRRRRRRR?!?!?!" I scream at the tipidy-top of my lungs.
    "Nancyyyy?" I growl, picking up the remains of my laptop, and tossing them carelessly on the desk.
    "Yes?!" Nancy replies, fixing her glasses.
    "Do you want do go upstairs and lay on a bed? ALL BY YOURSELF? 'cuzz that can easily be arraigned..." I say, quivering with anger.
    "NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" Nancy screams bloody murder, throwing herself on the ground. "It's all Renee's fault! If she didn't show me how much soda she drinks, I would have never borrowed your computer without asking! Pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaasssssseeeeeeeee?!!!!!!!! Pity meeeeee! For my WEAKNESS!!!!" "NO WAY!" I shout, folding my arms. "Your not getting away with this, you stupid little detective!"
    Nancy bursts into hysterical crying, and I grab my nearest handcuffs, (I have a lot of them) and lock her up!
    I tow her up to that creepy, empty room, and lock her in! Then, I go back downstairs where the new guest and Renee are sitting beside the model cemetery like weirdos.
    "Whazzup!?" I scream, throwing myself on the couch. Renee glares at me through her ugly, beady eyes.
    "NOTHING, HENRIE!" Abby shouts.
    "Hey, don't you dare spell my name like that!!!" I yell bitterly through clenched teeth.
    By the way, the weirdo person I saw at the 'Boggie Part of the Cemetery' was Abby whats her name from the haunted mansion. Rose fired her.
    "Oh, Henrie, we were just having a fun little seance'! This house is the perfect place for one!"
    I glare at the magician, and reply, "Well, whatev. Have as many seances' as you'd like, but, just don't bother me; okay?"
    "Ohhh, Mr. Rochester is to be married. TO THE BEAUTIFUL BLANCHE INGRAM! ZEH BLU!" I rip my hand away angerly.
    "Ohh." magician sighs. "I see that this news affects you."
    I stomp out of the room, and to my office to try to fix my laptop. LOST CAUSE!
    That dang gardener and her Giego-commercial-loving friend have totally ruined my computerrrr!

    []Nancy[]

    After lighting tons of Voodoo candles Renee so kindly gave to me, I decide to play marbles with muh glass eyes. as I flick the eyeballs across the uneven floor, I here a knocking at my chamber door. "NEVER MORE!" I screech in my overly-silly retarded voice.
    "Who dares to intrude on my SOLITUDE!?" *Kicks over cloumn*
    "It's meeeeee!" Screeches a squeaky voice.
    "Abby?" I can't believe my own ears. "How did you get here?"
    "Open the door and I'll tell you." She whispers.
    "Mm'okay." I say, snapping my gum. I open the door, and she crawls inside.
    "You need a psychiatrist," she tells me, laying me down on the creepy bed.
    "Now." the magician begins. "Tell me your troubles!"
    "Uhmmm.... Well, Henry is being a jerk jerk jerk to me!" I shout. "and Renee is too! ... wait A minute... You were going to tell me how you got here, weren't you?" I ask.
    "Yes; Rose fired me."
    "But, you didn't work for her!"
    "I know! she fired me anyway!"
    "Ohh."
    “Here, have some sneezie powder" Abby says, sticking a voodoo bottle up my nose.
    "NAANCYYY!!!" Bess bursts into the room. "I FOUND A STICK!!!"
    Silence.
    "no; I didn't find a stick. I found..." SHe take something out of her purse. "THE CRYSTAL SKULL!" Bess giggles, and tosses me the skull.
    "OOooooOOOOOooooh, gimme!" Abby screams, grabbing at the skull.
    "NOO!" I shout back It's mine, all mine!"
    "No, it's mine," Henry's jerkish voice comes from the stair landing. His super stretchie arms reach into my quiet room and take the skull.
    “Now, I can sell it and get that moterhome for SUMMER!" He runs out the door. -?-
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    Amphibian

    Posts : 73
    Location : Bayport

    MAG1 WOOTTT!!!

    Post  Amphibian on Thu Jan 13, 2011 4:04 am

    []Henry[]

    I run down the rainy streets, like a demon possessed rat, and burst into the glorified trash collector's shop.
    "How much will you give me for this REAL crystal skull!?" I shout, tossing it at Lamont.
    "WOW! REAL?!?!!? I'll give you everything I own!"
    "That's okay, I'll just take 90% of all your money." I say.
    He hands me 200,000,000 dollars! I didn't know he had that much money!
    "Thank you! Buy!" He screams, shutting the door in my face.
    I take the money, and go to the nearest moterhome place. I buy the biggest moterhome, and have it shipped to Summer through air mail!

    **TIME CHANGES**

    "BOB THE BUILDER; CAN WE FIX IT?! BOB THE BUILDER! *OVER SUGER-ED CHILD* "YES WE CAN!!" I pick up my ringing cell phone.
    "Henry you darling thing!" Summer's earsplitting voice deafens me. "I got my moterhome today, and I am coming to new Orleans! In fact, I am already here! Sitting in your driveway!" I peer out the window to see Summer sitting on the dashboard in her moterhome, waving to me.
    I scream, and hide under my bed.
    "Summer you CREEP!" I hang up, and she walks into the house. I scream like a little girl, grabbing the nearest dustbunny. "Get the heck out of my house!!!!!!" I shout.
    "Hennnnrrrryyyyyy?"Summer lifts up the bed skirt.
    I scream.
    "There you are dogitty, I was wondering where you were." Summer coos, petting my head. "Come on, we have to check our kitchen shelf." She takes my arm, and pulls me out from under the bed.
    "Now. I want this house. Okay?"
    I stare at her blankly.
    "Summer, I hate you." I say.
    "I HATE YOU, TOO!" She snaps.
    "Now we're even."
    THERE IS A LONG REDICULOUS PAUSE.
    "I want this house! Understand!????" She screams in my face.
    "Anything you say, Summer." I reply.
    I fish through my desk drawer filled with KOko Kringle bars that Renee' gave to me, but I never
    eat because they are either
    a) poisoned, b) expired, or c) I am allergic to chocolate on that day.
    I rip out the deed to the house, and hand it to Summer.
    "Good boy." She growls, petting my head. "Now, I'll take all your money. And, if you give
    me all your money, I can give you a generous donation to your new house. In fact, I will give you a new house." She smiles deviously.
    "Okay," I reply, munching on a pita pocket that the lizard gave me a few weeks ago. I hand her my wallet.
    "Good boy." She growls.
    "You just said that, dummy!" I scream in her face.
    "I knowww!!!! I have the freedom of speech, don't I?!"
    "YUP," I reply, sinking back into my chair. "Now, anything valuable that you own?"
    "No."
    "Anything worth money money money?"
    "No,"
    "Are you just trying to shut me up?"
    "No,"
    "Are you here to protest whale hunt?" Summer sputters in a horrible Japanese accent.
    "No,"
    "Dolphin hunt?"
    "No,"
    "Are you with OPS?"
    "No,"
    "You just keep saying no. WERE YOU IN MY MOTERHOME LAST NIGHT?"
    "Last night, I was sleeeeeepinngggg." I reply, blinking.
    Summer gives me two boxes wrapped up in pink sparkly paper.
    "JUST RIP THEM OPEN LIKE A KID ON CHRISTMAS!!!!!!" Summer screams.
    I open the first.
    some kinda stuffed animal.
    shaped like a bee.
    "Look!" Summer shouts excitedly, undoing a velcro strap. "IT PLOPS OPEN INTO A FULL SIZED PILLOW!!!!!"
    I stare at her with no expression. Sometimes, I think this girl is insane. "And open the second; it's your house."
    I give her a look of sarcastic disappointment, and open the package. It's a cardboard box.
    "HA-HA." I roll on the floor sarcastically.
    Summer gathers the other random people just as Renee', Nancy, Abby, And Bess. "Now, get the heck out of my house!" Summer screams, throwing us all out the door in a miserable heap. -?-
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    Beanbag
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    MAG1 Re: Out Of The Cardboard Box -CRAYFISH (my uhhh... "silly" cry ae)

    Post  Beanbag on Thu Jan 13, 2011 4:12 am

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


    GrammarShark
    Admin

    Posts : 199

    MAG1 Re: Out Of The Cardboard Box -CRAYFISH (my uhhh... "silly" cry ae)

    Post  GrammarShark on Sat Jan 15, 2011 9:21 am

    "Whazzup!?"

    xdd
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    Amphibian

    Posts : 73
    Location : Bayport

    MAG1 THE PINBALL GAME!

    Post  Amphibian on Sat Feb 19, 2011 10:59 pm

    CHAPTER THREE: THE PINBALL GAME

    []Henry[]

    I stand wide-eyed, jaw-dropped at the front door of my former formal house, staring through the smoke-tinted windows, as
    Summer jumps around the room screaming for joy. Then she spot me, and gingerly throws the door open, nearly sending me,
    once more, to the ground in a miserable heap, which she had just now, unfortunately already done, and I have just now
    unfortunately explained that whole unfortunate experience to you.
    "GET OUT OF MY DOORWAY YOU STALKER!!" Summer yelps, shoving me across the rainy path, and sending me tumbling down the
    slippery slippery staircase like a 2 week old chuawawawawa puppy on it's first day at it's new house!
    Summer locks all the doors and windows and tapes them up with gorilla tap and braces them with boards as if a hurricane
    is about to hit.
    "NO WAY AM I SLEEPING IN A CARDBOARD BOX!!!" Bess screams, pointing a shaky pale finger at the limply laying soaking
    box on the limply rainy path.
    "YOU DO AS YOU TOLD!" I shout back in bad English.
    "GLAD VIBES." Abby begins, placing her hands together, and standing in the middle of the rainy rain. "Shall be granted
    to our souls for being so humble."
    There is a moment of respectful silence. poor Abby. She seems to be suffering from insanity.
    We all lug our miserable souls down to the bog, and cram ourselves into Renee's boat, before paddling off into the
    bog, miserable.
    I hug my pillow pet ruefully.
    Suddenly, all at once, just then, the song "rugs from me to you" blares from nowhere in pirticular.
    The alligator whom I can never remember his name, emerges from the disgusting waters of the swamp, iPod in hand, EAR-
    BUDS IN EARS! Bess passes out from exhaustion.
    Abby screams.
    "HEY!!! I KNOW THAT SONG!" I shout, feeling a little less homesick.
    The gator laughs. "BEST SONG EVER!!!"
    Abby passes out.
    "HOLY FLYING PIGS!" I screech. "YOU CAN T-T-TALK?!?!?"
    The alligator looks at me with a blank face. "DUH."
    Nancy looks as if she wants to pass out..
    "That's soo cool!" I shout, feeling rather awkward talking to an alligator, but I feel as if I want to start jumping up
    and down in the boat, screaming and laughing and crying.
    Just then, the gator takes something from the water.. I would recognize it's shiny yellow-y tink ANYWHERE!
    "THE CRYSTAL SKULL!!!" Renee' grabs at it.
    "But, I thought I gave it to Mauve." I snuggle my face into the pillow pet, like a child during story time.
    "LAMONT." The gator corrects, then chuckles. "Yeah, he gave it to me.- *Stares at skull.* -Nice guy.."
    I nod in agreement. "Chyeah, he gave me two hundred million dollars! Plus, this nifty pinball game!" I yank the plastic pinball entertainment center from my back packet, and begin firing the cheap silver ball thingies through the various exciting pathways and STUNTS!
    "AHHHH! I wish I had a pinball game!" The gator starts to scream and cry and grab at my pinball game..
    "DON'T TAKE THE LITTLE I HAVE AWAY FROM ME!!!" I hide the pinball game in my mouth, and hug my pillow pet.
    During the chaos, Renee' had snatched the skull from Bernie (HA! I JUST REMEMBERED HIS NAME!) and started to swim away.
    "WELP!" I snort, wiping the saliva from my plasticy-awesome pinball game. "ONE LESS MOUTH TO FEED!"
    Nancy glares at me. "WE CAN LET HER GET AWAY!" She is about to jump into after her when I grab her arm, and shove her back into the boat.
    "Awww, NANCE! Stop trying to act like a cop!" Bernie and I laugh like weirdos.
    "We have a cardboard box, see?" I point in the bottom on the damp boat. "And my pillow pet.... I can lend it to you, if your nice...."
    Nancy stares at me blankly.
    "AND." The gator reaches into the bog, and grabs a colorful bag. "MARSHMELOWS! WITH ONE L!"
    He pops the bag with his fingernail, and explodes the marshmellows all over us.
    "HOLY TOOTHFAIRY!" I scream, shoving one of the white fluffy thingies in my mouth. "THEY'RE WATERPROOF!"
    Bernie nods. "Renee' gave em' too me."


    []Summer[]

    "OOOOOOOEEEEEEE.... THE CONTRACTORS!" I jab my fingers into the alpine cell phone in my hands. "WWWHHHHHALLLLESSSSS!!!"
    I scream into the phone when I hear it click on the other end. I slurp my pink milk through a twisty straw I found in
    attic of Henrie's old house. "I neeed whales!"
    "HOW MANY?" The sicky seaworld employee drawls on the other end.
    "TWO HUNDRED."
    "Well, we don't actually have that many, unless you'd like to arrange a capture..."
    "NO, JUST GIVE ME ALL THAT YOU GOT! OR AT LEAST HALF!" I yell, getting agitated. How stupid can those seaworld people
    be?
    "VERY STUPID." SHE reads my mind.
    "Are you a robot?"
    "VERY STUPID." she repeats.
    "THOUGHT SO! FIGUUUURRRRES.. now gimmie half the whales you got there. KAY?!"
    "VERY STUPID."
    I hang up, and chuckle to my devious self. "I CAN JUST SEE IT NOW!!" I scream excitedly into the nothing ness.
    "SUMMER'S SUPER DUPER THEME PARK! (WE HAVE WHALES!)"
    I grin sheepishly, and hug the lizard I found on a bookshelf. "OOOOOOEEEE, I CAN'T WAIT!"

    GrammarShark
    Admin

    Posts : 199

    MAG1 Re: Out Of The Cardboard Box -CRAYFISH (my uhhh... "silly" cry ae)

    Post  GrammarShark on Sun Feb 20, 2011 5:03 am

    "I would open a store and call it 'Rugs from Me to Yooou'."

    [bahaha, I actually heard that yesterday.]

    Duuude, I can't wait to see how they defeat Summer. Eeeevil lady!

    "SUMMER'S SUPER DUPER THEME PARK! (WE HAVE WHALES!)"
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    Beanbag
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    Posts : 191
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    MAG1 Re: Out Of The Cardboard Box -CRAYFISH (my uhhh... "silly" cry ae)

    Post  Beanbag on Sun Feb 20, 2011 12:30 pm

    I'm not even going to bother quoting all the parts that made me laugh out loud, there were way too many!
    Henry has a pillow pet. xD
    KEEEP WRITING Very Happy Very Happy

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    MAG1 Re: Out Of The Cardboard Box -CRAYFISH (my uhhh... "silly" cry ae)

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