I ran to my room ignoring Hannah’s questions asking if I was okay. I wasn’t. I slammed the door behind me sinking down to the ground, leaning back against the door, tears pooling in my eyes. I slammed my fist into the ground. Why?! My own voice screamed in my head.
Why was I doing this?
It was wrong. I knew it was wrong….why couldn’t I just stop it? I slowly pulled a bracelet off my wrist, it was the one Ned had sent to me in Paris, right before the explosion. I held it up in front of my eyes, my fingers tracing the beads, he’d said at the time he felt bad that it wasn’t good enough since I was surrounded by fashion. I remembered it well. Now this bracelet seemed like a twenty pound weight dragging me down to the bottom of the ocean.
I felt a twang in my chest. Ned. I loved Ned. I'd always loved Ned...right? Why couldn’t I get him out of my head? Images swirling around, leading me to the same spot that had been in my head all afternoon.
Just one small coincidence a few hours earlier….
“Oh c’mon Lil Sis!!” Joe whined at me as we were walking away from lunch.
“No,” I shoved him playfully grinning brightly.
“You know you want to,” Joe smirked.
“Do not.” I countered.
“Do too.” Joe said.
I rolled my eyes. This was going nowhere.
“I’m no-“ I was cut off as Joe’s arm blocked my path, he placed his hand on the wall I turned to face Joe, realizing he was all to close, so I leaned back against the wall crossing my arms over my chest.
“You know you want to come with me,” Joe said, putting his other arm on the other side of me, bringing him closer, I looked up at Joe, for some reason something was different this time, I blinked at him a little, I’d never really noticed how green his eyes were…I mean…they were…green.
My breath caught a little, and I tried to press against the wall behind me more. What was with me?! I loved Ned. C’mon…this… my brain even trailed off there was no answer.
“Nance?” Joe asked, but his voice had gone quieter.
“I’m not coming,” I said, now I was more stubborn than ever I couldn’t take off with Joe.
“But you want to,” Joe said.
“I do not.” I said, but my voice was becoming more of a whisper. This…his had never happened before. It wasn’t like Joe and I hadn’t been closer, I mean I’d sat on his lap once, it wasn’t like there was a spark of chemistry.
Okay I take that back. There was once when there was a little chemistry between us, but it shouldn’t be here now! I mean, that flame was long died out, right? I slowly looked into Joe’s eyes I saw something there unsure what it was, though I had an odd feeling it was mirrored back in my own eyes.
“Nancy…” Joe started.
“I can’t go,” I said.
Joe nodded slowly, was it just me or did he seem to be breathing oddly?
“Right,” Joe whispered leaning closer to me, his eyes kept focusing on my lips, which made mine look at his. I tore my eyes away from his lips. What was I doing? I couldn’t be with Joe. I couldn’t do this to our friendship. It wasn’t right
I didn’t respond to Joe, and he didn’t seem to push anything, I don’t know how long we stood there, not saying anything, until slowly Joe leaned closer to me, I found myself leaning towards him, just before our lips touched I seemed to realize what I was doing my eyes widened. I dove under his arm, running down the hall, to my car and to my house.
Which led to me here in my room on the verge of tears.
I mean c'mon Joe was...he's like my brother. No, he was my brother. Or at least the closest thing I’d ever get to a brother. That was like, wrong, right? Right it was wrong. Then why couldn't I get him out of my head? Why couldn't I stop thinking about him?
I threw the bracelet across the room, watching it lay there on the ground in the sun, sparkling a little as the sun hit the reflective beads it in different ways. How could I do this to me? To Ned? To Joe? To Raylinn? God I completely forgot Joe’s girlfriend! It was selfish. Stupid. Completely. I couldn't let this happen, I had to stop it. It....It couldn't happen. I wouldn't let it happen. I'd...I'd just have to ignore my feelings...That probably weren't real anyway...
But somehow it was….
How? How could this be? I’d never felt anything for Joe Hardy.
Joe was the dorky brother, cute, yes. But. Dorky. And annoying and…amazingly sweet…. I closed my eyes the tears I was holding back came spilling out and down my cheeks. I reached to rub them off my cheeks. My thumb brushing my own lip, I remembered the one time I’d kissed Joe, out on Kapu beach… It wasn’t romantic, it didn’t ignite a fire within me, so how could him putting his arms on either side of me, pulling close to me…how could that do this to me?
I couldn’t let this happen. I couldn’t do it. I had to ignore everything, keep things going the way they were.
I slowly crawled for my bracelet but just as I was about to touch it my phone rang, I paused before picking it up.
“Hello?” I asked.
“Nan…” Joe’s voice was on the other end.
I breath caught I debated about hanging up there.
“Yeah?” I whispered my voice betraying my mind.
“What happened?” Joe asked, “I mean…to us?”
Us. He’d said us. My heart fluttered. Us…It hadn’t ever sounded that good when Ned said it.
“I…I don’t know,” I whispered.
Joe gave an odd sound. “C’mon,” he said, “It’s not like you didn’t feel that too.” I froze. I wasn’t the only one? I blinked rapidly. That couldn’t be happening. This couldn’t be happening.
“Maybe…” I whispered, “What…What’re you talking about?”
“Let me come inside, we’ll talk,” Joe said. My eyes widened.
“You’re here?” I stood up, going to my window, looking out, sure enough Joe was leaning against his car looking up at my window, I looked down at Joe.
Did I trust myself to invite him in?
“Please?” Joe asked, he pouted at me, and something that had never happened before happened, my heart melted.
I nodded.
“Sure…” I whispered. Joe grinned hanging up.
I walked over to Ned’s bracelet, I picked it up, it felt like it weighed a million pounds, I ran my fingers over the beads, before shoving it into a drawer, just as the door opened and Joe walked in.
“Joe,” I started.
“Stop.” Joe said walking to me, “Believe me I don’t get it either.” He said. Not getting it was an understatement. I was so confused. It was like I was in love with Joe Hardy.
My heart fluttered at the word ‘love’.
“Joe we can’t…” I whispered, “Raylinn…Ned…” I shook my head.
“I know.” Joe said running a hand through his hair, “Believe me I’ve been over every possible solution in the book,” he started pacing my room, I watched him closely, probably closer than I should, I watched his muscular arms swinging at his side, he really did have muscles. Nice ones too.
“And you’ve come up with the answer, right?” I asked.
“There’s only one thing that could possibly work,” Joe said. I paused but nodded slowly standing up again. My mind circling through all the ways that life’d be hard without Joe Hardy in them
“And that is?” I asked quietly, already picturing the odd things in life without Joe in them, it was nearly impossible.
My train of thought was interrupted as Joe strode over to me, kissing me with his hands on my cheeks. His lips tasted of coffee, sweet coffee with far to much sugar, just the way Joe liked it. I literally melted on the spot, my hands on Joe’s chest, not wanting the kiss to end ever. Not wanting to leave Joe’s arms ever. Life here was perfect. I’d never felt anything like that with Ned, my mind was swirling, my feet weren’t touching the ground.
All too soon the kiss broke and Joe pulled back a few inches to look me in the eyes.
“That,” he whispered.
“But…Ned, and…and…” my mind was drawing blanks, everything was hazy, and fuzzy, it was like some kind of drug, and I was now completely hooked.
“It doesn’t matter, we’ll figure it out,” Joe whispered. I bit my lip.
“Don’t stress, it ‘causes worry lines,” Joe said.
“Sorry,” I grinned little.
“This’ll be fine,” Joe said nodding slowly, somehow him believing it made me believe it. I believed it I honestly did.
That brought an honest smile to my lips.
“Okay,” I said, kissing Joe again, pulling him closer with my arms around his neck, fingers tangling in his hair….
I jerked upright in bed, my eyes wide as I looked around, morning. Just morning. I glanced at my clock seven-oh-four. It was a dream. I laughed with relief falling back over in bed. Putting a hand over my face
“What a nightmare.” I muttered, “My sub-conscious needs a life.” I said to myself, I rolled out of bed slipping on the bracelet my boyfriend had given me, which sat right where I’d always left it, right on my bedside table, beside my key necklace. I slipped the bracelet on my wrist, it looked odd with my night shirt but I didn’t care, I swung my legs out of bed pulling my phone off the charger dialing my boyfriend.
“He-“ Ned started sounding groggy.
“I love you,” I cut him off grinning.
Why was I doing this?
It was wrong. I knew it was wrong….why couldn’t I just stop it? I slowly pulled a bracelet off my wrist, it was the one Ned had sent to me in Paris, right before the explosion. I held it up in front of my eyes, my fingers tracing the beads, he’d said at the time he felt bad that it wasn’t good enough since I was surrounded by fashion. I remembered it well. Now this bracelet seemed like a twenty pound weight dragging me down to the bottom of the ocean.
I felt a twang in my chest. Ned. I loved Ned. I'd always loved Ned...right? Why couldn’t I get him out of my head? Images swirling around, leading me to the same spot that had been in my head all afternoon.
Just one small coincidence a few hours earlier….
“Oh c’mon Lil Sis!!” Joe whined at me as we were walking away from lunch.
“No,” I shoved him playfully grinning brightly.
“You know you want to,” Joe smirked.
“Do not.” I countered.
“Do too.” Joe said.
I rolled my eyes. This was going nowhere.
“I’m no-“ I was cut off as Joe’s arm blocked my path, he placed his hand on the wall I turned to face Joe, realizing he was all to close, so I leaned back against the wall crossing my arms over my chest.
“You know you want to come with me,” Joe said, putting his other arm on the other side of me, bringing him closer, I looked up at Joe, for some reason something was different this time, I blinked at him a little, I’d never really noticed how green his eyes were…I mean…they were…green.
My breath caught a little, and I tried to press against the wall behind me more. What was with me?! I loved Ned. C’mon…this… my brain even trailed off there was no answer.
“Nance?” Joe asked, but his voice had gone quieter.
“I’m not coming,” I said, now I was more stubborn than ever I couldn’t take off with Joe.
“But you want to,” Joe said.
“I do not.” I said, but my voice was becoming more of a whisper. This…his had never happened before. It wasn’t like Joe and I hadn’t been closer, I mean I’d sat on his lap once, it wasn’t like there was a spark of chemistry.
Okay I take that back. There was once when there was a little chemistry between us, but it shouldn’t be here now! I mean, that flame was long died out, right? I slowly looked into Joe’s eyes I saw something there unsure what it was, though I had an odd feeling it was mirrored back in my own eyes.
“Nancy…” Joe started.
“I can’t go,” I said.
Joe nodded slowly, was it just me or did he seem to be breathing oddly?
“Right,” Joe whispered leaning closer to me, his eyes kept focusing on my lips, which made mine look at his. I tore my eyes away from his lips. What was I doing? I couldn’t be with Joe. I couldn’t do this to our friendship. It wasn’t right
I didn’t respond to Joe, and he didn’t seem to push anything, I don’t know how long we stood there, not saying anything, until slowly Joe leaned closer to me, I found myself leaning towards him, just before our lips touched I seemed to realize what I was doing my eyes widened. I dove under his arm, running down the hall, to my car and to my house.
Which led to me here in my room on the verge of tears.
I mean c'mon Joe was...he's like my brother. No, he was my brother. Or at least the closest thing I’d ever get to a brother. That was like, wrong, right? Right it was wrong. Then why couldn't I get him out of my head? Why couldn't I stop thinking about him?
I threw the bracelet across the room, watching it lay there on the ground in the sun, sparkling a little as the sun hit the reflective beads it in different ways. How could I do this to me? To Ned? To Joe? To Raylinn? God I completely forgot Joe’s girlfriend! It was selfish. Stupid. Completely. I couldn't let this happen, I had to stop it. It....It couldn't happen. I wouldn't let it happen. I'd...I'd just have to ignore my feelings...That probably weren't real anyway...
But somehow it was….
How? How could this be? I’d never felt anything for Joe Hardy.
Joe was the dorky brother, cute, yes. But. Dorky. And annoying and…amazingly sweet…. I closed my eyes the tears I was holding back came spilling out and down my cheeks. I reached to rub them off my cheeks. My thumb brushing my own lip, I remembered the one time I’d kissed Joe, out on Kapu beach… It wasn’t romantic, it didn’t ignite a fire within me, so how could him putting his arms on either side of me, pulling close to me…how could that do this to me?
I couldn’t let this happen. I couldn’t do it. I had to ignore everything, keep things going the way they were.
I slowly crawled for my bracelet but just as I was about to touch it my phone rang, I paused before picking it up.
“Hello?” I asked.
“Nan…” Joe’s voice was on the other end.
I breath caught I debated about hanging up there.
“Yeah?” I whispered my voice betraying my mind.
“What happened?” Joe asked, “I mean…to us?”
Us. He’d said us. My heart fluttered. Us…It hadn’t ever sounded that good when Ned said it.
“I…I don’t know,” I whispered.
Joe gave an odd sound. “C’mon,” he said, “It’s not like you didn’t feel that too.” I froze. I wasn’t the only one? I blinked rapidly. That couldn’t be happening. This couldn’t be happening.
“Maybe…” I whispered, “What…What’re you talking about?”
“Let me come inside, we’ll talk,” Joe said. My eyes widened.
“You’re here?” I stood up, going to my window, looking out, sure enough Joe was leaning against his car looking up at my window, I looked down at Joe.
Did I trust myself to invite him in?
“Please?” Joe asked, he pouted at me, and something that had never happened before happened, my heart melted.
I nodded.
“Sure…” I whispered. Joe grinned hanging up.
I walked over to Ned’s bracelet, I picked it up, it felt like it weighed a million pounds, I ran my fingers over the beads, before shoving it into a drawer, just as the door opened and Joe walked in.
“Joe,” I started.
“Stop.” Joe said walking to me, “Believe me I don’t get it either.” He said. Not getting it was an understatement. I was so confused. It was like I was in love with Joe Hardy.
My heart fluttered at the word ‘love’.
“Joe we can’t…” I whispered, “Raylinn…Ned…” I shook my head.
“I know.” Joe said running a hand through his hair, “Believe me I’ve been over every possible solution in the book,” he started pacing my room, I watched him closely, probably closer than I should, I watched his muscular arms swinging at his side, he really did have muscles. Nice ones too.
“And you’ve come up with the answer, right?” I asked.
“There’s only one thing that could possibly work,” Joe said. I paused but nodded slowly standing up again. My mind circling through all the ways that life’d be hard without Joe Hardy in them
“And that is?” I asked quietly, already picturing the odd things in life without Joe in them, it was nearly impossible.
My train of thought was interrupted as Joe strode over to me, kissing me with his hands on my cheeks. His lips tasted of coffee, sweet coffee with far to much sugar, just the way Joe liked it. I literally melted on the spot, my hands on Joe’s chest, not wanting the kiss to end ever. Not wanting to leave Joe’s arms ever. Life here was perfect. I’d never felt anything like that with Ned, my mind was swirling, my feet weren’t touching the ground.
All too soon the kiss broke and Joe pulled back a few inches to look me in the eyes.
“That,” he whispered.
“But…Ned, and…and…” my mind was drawing blanks, everything was hazy, and fuzzy, it was like some kind of drug, and I was now completely hooked.
“It doesn’t matter, we’ll figure it out,” Joe whispered. I bit my lip.
“Don’t stress, it ‘causes worry lines,” Joe said.
“Sorry,” I grinned little.
“This’ll be fine,” Joe said nodding slowly, somehow him believing it made me believe it. I believed it I honestly did.
That brought an honest smile to my lips.
“Okay,” I said, kissing Joe again, pulling him closer with my arms around his neck, fingers tangling in his hair….
I jerked upright in bed, my eyes wide as I looked around, morning. Just morning. I glanced at my clock seven-oh-four. It was a dream. I laughed with relief falling back over in bed. Putting a hand over my face
“What a nightmare.” I muttered, “My sub-conscious needs a life.” I said to myself, I rolled out of bed slipping on the bracelet my boyfriend had given me, which sat right where I’d always left it, right on my bedside table, beside my key necklace. I slipped the bracelet on my wrist, it looked odd with my night shirt but I didn’t care, I swung my legs out of bed pulling my phone off the charger dialing my boyfriend.
“He-“ Ned started sounding groggy.
“I love you,” I cut him off grinning.
Last edited by Carolyn_Keene on Fri Oct 01, 2010 12:43 am; edited 1 time in total
